Jesus Is Cringe

Peter Clarke
4 min readMar 11, 2022

It’s not often stated so bluntly, but it’s hardly a controversial opinion that Jesus is cringe. What’s weird is that this is never taken seriously as a critique of Christianity. It should be. Who wants to follow a cringe god?

Christianity is currently losing followers at a breakneck pace. There are many reasons for this, but likely none of them would matter as much if it wasn’t socially embarrassing to be openly into Jesus. All else being equal, if Christianity boosted your social cool factor, you wouldn’t see Gen Z being so desperately allergic to it.

Maybe you’re not immediately convinced that Jesus is cringe and need some reasons. Here are a few:

Jesus was a human sacrifice. Despite all our modern sensibilities, we’re supposed to pretend this isn’t laughably primitive. That’s cringe.

Jesus was a Jewish guy from the Middle East. Yet, thanks to lame Christian marketing and I guess ignorance, virtually everyone in the West pictures him as a long-haired, bearded white guy. That’s cringe.

Jesus has become inextricably associated with guns, trucks, TV pastors, Fox News, so-called traditional family values, homophobia, anti-abortion laws, science denialism, etc. That’s cringe. (This is a big one, as Christians are often embarrassed by how other Christians behave. According to a “closet Christian” writing for Slate, in some liberal circles, “nothing is more embarrassing than being religious” due to the behavior of stereotypical conservative Christians.)

Christian music. Christian movies. Christian books. Christian podcasts. All cringe.

And this isn’t to mention the cringe nature of religion itself. Believing in a personal god who listens to your prayers is totally legitimate if you’re a child. But for adults, it’s the equivalent of believing in the tooth fairy.

Our broader culture still nominally shows respect for Christianity. Politicians, for example, regularly make calculated references to “God” and “The Bible.” But in informal settings — and particularly on the internet — it’s easy to see how secular people really feel about Christianity.

“Is it normal to cringe when a Christian keeps talking about religion?” asks one user on Reddit. “Every single time I see someone say something about god or…

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Peter Clarke

Author of “The Singularity Survival Guide” and Editor at JokesLiteraryReview.com. Read more at petermclarke.com. Follow me on Twitter @HeyPeterClarke